Waiter Slang
article and image by Carole Terwilliger Meyers
chart design by Gene Meyers
in San Francisco, California
Hash-house slang has intrigued me ever since I learned that a non-fat decaf cappuccino is referred to as a “why bother.” Though it has a colorful history dating back to the 1850s, usage is dying out because so are coffee shops and diners. Some of the terms were probably overheard by customers who then decided to cancel their order (I think I’d give it a second thought if I ordered hash and heard the waiter holler out “clean up the kitchen”!). How many of these have you heard of?
references to food preparation
| SLANG PHRASE | ACTUAL MEANING |
|---|---|
| Adam and Eve on a raft (or log) | two poached eggs on toast |
| chicks on a raft | eggs on toast |
| deadeye | one poached egg |
| drown the kids | boiled eggs |
| flop two | two fried eggs over easy |
| tits on a raft | two eggs over easy with bacon |
| wreck ‘em | scrambled eggs |
| Adam’s ale city juice dog soup | water (Adam was the first man to drink only water) |
| axle grease cow paste skid grease | butter |
| baby juice moo juice cow juice | milk |
| muddy moo | chocolate milk |
| baled hay | shredded wheat |
| baker | baked potato |
| belch water balloon water | seltzer, soda water |
| birdseed | breakfast cereal |
| blowout patches | pancakes |
| bowl of red | chili con carne |
| bow-wow bun pup tube steak Coney Island | hot dog |
| bucket of mud | bowl of chocolate ice cream |
| bullets whistle berries | baked beans |
| burn one take it through the garden and pin a rose on it | a hamburger with lettuce and a slice of onion |
| Chicago sundae with pineapple | (a reference to hand grenades used by mobsters in the 1920s) |
| clean up the kitchen customer will take a chance sweep the kitchen floor | hash (there are countless other terms, including “mystery”) |
| cowboy with spurs | a western omelette with fries |
| cow feed | salad |
| cremate it kill it paddy well | overcook it, extra well done |
| crowd | three of anything (from “three’s a crowd”) |
| dog biscuit | cracker |
| don’t cry over it | don’t add any salt while cooking |
| dough well done with cow to cover | toast buttered toast |
| draw one cup of mud java joe | cup of coffee |
| pair of drawers | two cups of coffee |
| draw one in the dark midnight, no cow | black coffee |
| blonde with sand | coffee with cream and sugar |
| why bother | non-fat decaf cappuccino |
| eighty-six | remove an item from an order |
| Eve with the lid on | apple pie (Eve signifies apples, and with the lid on indicates a full top crust) |
| Eve with a moldy lid | apple pie with a slice of cheese |
| fifty-five | glass of root beer |
| first lady | spareribs (a reference to Eve, who was created from Adam’s rib) |
| fish eggs fish eyes cat’s eyes | tapioca pudding |
| Frenchman’s delight | pea soup |
| frog sticks | french fries |
| go for a walk on wheels | take-away order |
| hail | ice |
| hockey puck | well-done hamburger |
| a cow, make it cry | hamburger with onion |
| hold the xx | leave something off |
| houseboat | banana split |
| ice the rice | rice pudding with vanilla ice cream |
| in the alley | serve as a side dish |
| Irish turkey | corned beef and cabbage |
| Italian perfume | garlic |
| keep off the grass | no lettuce |
| kiss | just a little |
| kiss the fire | ultra-rare, or lightly warmed |
| kiss the sea | barely salted |
| let him chew on it on the hoof | rare meat |
| life preservers | doughnuts |
| lumber | toothpick |
| Mike and Ike the twins | salt and pepper shakers |
| mouse trap | grilled cheese sandwich |
| Murphy | potatoes |
| nervous pudding shivering Liz | Jell-O |
| Noah’s boy | ham (Noah’s second son’s name was Ham) |
| nuke it | put it in the microwave |
| paint it red | put ketchup on it |
| Pittsburgh rare | burnt outside, rare inside |
| a radio | tuna salad on toast |
| tuna on down | tuna salad on toast (referring to popping the bread down in the toaster) |
| sand yum | sugar |
| sea dust | salt |
| shingle with a shimmy and a shake | toast with butter and jam |
| sinkers and suds | doughnuts and coffee |
| spot with a twist | cup of tea with lemon |
| SOS | sauce on the side |
| a splash | soup |
| squeeze one | glass of orange juice |
| still moving still mooing | ultra rare |
| sub | substitute one menu choice for another |
| warts | olives |
| wave the bottle over it | an extremely dry martini vodka on the rocks |
| wax | American cheese |
| on whiskey | on rye bread (whiskey is made from rye) |
| yellow paint | mustard |
| zeppelins in a fog | sausages and mash |
references to customers
| SLANG PHRASE | ACTUAL MEANING |
|---|---|
| blue hairs | senior citizens |
| camel | a customer who drinks a lot of water, needing constant refills |
| Canadian | a customer who is suspected will either stiff or under-tip (yes, this is politically incorrect, but widely used) |
| big dog fat cat | a customer that traditionally over-tips |
| crumb crusher rug rat | child |
| curtain crawler | a slightly older child, that runs amok annoying other customers |
| on tether | people who are waiting to be seated |
| a precious | a finicky or difficult diner |
| a screamer | a crying infant or unruly child, sometimes an obnoxious or complaining adult |
| walked 95 | a customer who leaves without paying |
Know more slang restaurant terms that you’d like to share? Submit your suggestion in e-mail. Include your name and city/state of residence and if I decide to add it to this list, I’ll credit you.
(www.berkeleyandbeyond2.com; copyright Carole Terwilliger Meyers)